just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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