her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
