i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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