fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
