the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
