you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
