why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
