What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
