just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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