Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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