Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
