you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
