The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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