Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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