This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
