I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
