I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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