tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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