So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
