Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize