Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
