Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
