I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
