Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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