Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
