Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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