If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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