After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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