is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
