Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
