OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
