You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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