Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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