theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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