i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
