drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i barfeds in our rink
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
