i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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