Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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