Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
