If i come over, it means nothing
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
