No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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