Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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