How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
