I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
