New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
