i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
