And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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