I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
