I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
