I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
