Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
