so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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