Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize