I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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