Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
