How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
