You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
