She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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