I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
