Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want to walk on stilts...naked
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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