Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
