I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
that may or may not have been my penis.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
