i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
