It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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